Plagiarism Exercise

Well, these are the two revisions that were used on our assignment on plagiarism/plagiarism exercise. Let's read and check out which of these revisions is guilty of plagiarism and not.

Student Revision 1

Mickey Mouse is a well loved symbol of the greatness of America because he represents a long carefree era when everything in the world has gone well for the most prosperous nation on earth. The fame of Mickey Mouse has spread around the world in the same way that Coca Cola and MacDonalds have arrived in even the most obscure corners of the earth. He symbolizes the prosperity of Americans throughout a period when they have dominated the world both economically and politically. Mickey Mouse has become a movie star and a household name. This symbolizes the American dream where everyone (including apparently rodents and quite possibly many other non-human personalities) can expect freedom of speech, freedom of actions and freedom to make an honest living.

While it is true that Mickey Mouse symbolizes America this should not be regarded as a positive but rather a negative feature of the small rodent's character. He has been promoted by the American publicity machine. This is a form of insidious colonialism that is far more evil than the European colonialism of the past. In their era the Europeans were unstoppable just as Mickey Mouse and all that follows is unstoppable. The important difference is that European colonialism was immediately noticeable and, therefore, more possible to resist.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse demonstrate socially acceptable inter-personal behavior with their collection of animal friends. These characters have developed as vehicles for teaching young children the key elements of social behavior. Parents of today have grown up on the antics of Mickey Mouse and his friends and are happy for their children to do so. However, some people think he is not the role model who shows children how to interact socially with groups of friends and with individuals of the opposite sex. But he is a dictator who moulds children to social behaviour patterns which are alien to their society. He fosters rampant consumerism among nations who are economically unready for it, thus, creating bankrupted dependent client states. He also contributes to linguistic colonization.

Is this text guilty of plagiarism? If so, what exactly is wrong? How can you correct it? Your comments:

Yes, this a clear example of plagiarism. Mostly of the texts were copied directly though the order of which the sentences/phrases appear were rearranged and as a result of rearranging those texts,the viewpoints of the two authors somewhat became vague. This text did not even recognize the sources of its contents. If the writer of this text added his/her own opinions or comments to the subject matter, it's barely noticeable. It's as if he/she hadn't done any job at all.

To correct this, for starters, the writer of this text must have recognized the author/s of the source texts. He/she must have at least tried to paraphrased the texts from the authors and added his/her own viewpoints, comments, or comparison and/or contrast of the authors' views. And to make it perfectly, he must also have explained clearly and thoroughly the authors' complementing if not, conflicting viewpoints.


Student Revision 2

R.O. Dent says that Mickey Mouse is a well loved symbol of the greatness of America. He represents a long carefree era when everything in the world has gone well for the most prosperous nation on earth. He symbolizes the prosperity of Americans throughout a period when they have dominated the world both economically and politically.

Michel Souris says Mickey Mouse, the charming little mouse from Walt Disney, is known around the world. He is considered a playful character who often gets into trouble but inevitably comes out on top. His resourcefulness and wit are regarded as symbolizing all that is best about America and the Americans. While it is true that Mickey Mouse symbolizes America this should not be regarded as a positive but rather a negative feature of the small rodent's character.

R.O. Dent also says that it is significant that a creature often viewed in other countries as a pest to be eradicated can rise in the United States of America to become a movie star and a household name. This symbolises the American dream where everyone (including apparently rodents and quite possibly many other non-human personalities) can expect freedom of speech, freedom of actions and freedom to make an honest living. It is important to note in this context that the rise to fame and or riches of an underdog has long been a popular theme in the folk lore of western countries in general but of America in particular.

Michel Souris also says that the fame of Mickey Mouse has spread around the world in the same way that Coca Cola and MacDonalds have arrived in even the most obscure corners of the earth. It has been promoted by the American publicity machine. This is a form of insidious colonialism that is far more evil than the European colonialism of the past. In their era the Europeans were unstoppable just as Mickey Mouse and all that follows is unstoppable. The important difference is that European colonialism was immediately noticeable and, therefore, more possible to resist.

He also says that for nine tenths of the world Mickey Mouse is not, in fact, the lovable underdog who manages to succeed in the land of plenty. He is not the role model who shows children how to interact socially with groups of friends and with individuals of the opposite sex. He is, by contrast, a dictator who moulds children to social behaviour patterns which are alien to their society. He fosters rampant consumerism among nations who are economically unready for it, thus, creating bankrupted dependent client states. He also contributes to linguistic colonization.

Is this text guilty of plagiarism? If so, what exactly is wrong? How can you correct it? Your comments:

Yes, this text is still guilty of plagiarism. Though the writer of this text recognized the authors of its source texts whenever the text appears,he/she just done a mere direct copying of the texts. Albeit the texts were ordered properly in such a way to make the points more coherent and relevant, the writer didn't clearly distinguish which parts were his/her own and which parts were just merely copied. The only good thing of this text is it was able to recognize the source texts' authors and that is all.

To remedy this fault, the writer must have made a comparison and/or contrast of the authors' viewpoints to make it more comprehensive, added his own opinions and wrote it in such a way that a reader can distinguish which of the texts were his/her own and not. In other words, to make the reader be able to gauge how much work was done by the writer.

Sources:

http://www4.caes.hku.hk/plagiarism/

http://wanderwilder.blogspot.com/2011/06/plagiarism-exercise-for-comm-2-mth-230.html

Comparison Technique

Too Real to be Fictional

Fahrenheit 451 is a famous novel by Ray Bradbury which does not only depict censorship and defiance but also the horrible possible effects of technology and media. It is a futuristic novel that also depicts the result if books-the source of knowledge-were to be burned. Though Ray Bradbury may not want to purposely predict the future through then novel, I can’t help to think that it does. The resemblances of the fictional world of Fahrenheit 451 with our present world are too great and it really seems that the condition of our world today was predicted before through that fictional world, especially on how the TV and media affect the people.

In the fictional world, people don’t want to think and to be bothered. They want the world to be smooth, perfect and free from confusing things, thus they have much time for anything else except thinking. That’s the time when the distractions given by the society came in, specifically the Television and media. People on that society, like Mildred, consume their time everyday by facing the “Families” and let them control their lives and do the thinking for them. It also seems that they enjoy violent TV programs and other baloney programs where people are shouting like mad to each other. People gave more importance to the “Families” than their real families and forgetting their responsibilities like when Mildred refused her sick husband’s plea of shutting the “Families” down. Other than that, worthwhile conversations with important people also diminished, making the relationships and emotional bonds to weaken. And on the latter part of the novel when the Mechanical hound and the authorities are pursuing Montag, I was shocked by the realization on how real the following event was and that is when the authorities attacked an innocent man claiming Montag was dead even though he escaped- a clear example of manipulation of the media of information even with a cost of innocent man’s life. The media together with the authority are willing to risk anybody or anything just to retain their confidence and reliability and for the media’s case-just to have a successful ending after a thrill and drama of pursuing a felon. Generally, the novel shows the adverse effects of TVs and of the media such as irresponsibility, dumbness-instead of hating violence, people seem to enjoy it and being oblivious that the happiness the TVs, media and other distractions brought by the society or government is immediate, shallow and even cruel.

Like in our present world, most people want to stop thinking especially about their problems and they tried to escape from it by watching TV programs all day. Since majority of the homes have TV, people are bombarded with awful TV programs which they call “entertainment”. This awful entertainment consists of green jokes from TV sitcoms, faked reality from “Reality TV”, obscene and indecent TV programs and “entertaining” violence from TV programs like the WWE and UFC that showed big and muscled men hurting, smashing each other bodies with their own and breaking bones-which can be possibly being faked and directed to show how to beautifully and “entertainingly” hurt or break a person’s bones. All of these awful entertainments are very rampant to our TVs but it seems people are enjoying it and I don’t know if they are unaware of it or maybe they knew and they’re tolerating it. People these days consume their time watching those TV programs forgetting their responsibilities, relationships and all other thing’s they need to do and to think. Some people forgot to eat, students forgot their assignments, parents forgot their unfed children, some forgot the food they are cooking or the baby they are babysitting or the clothes they are ironing which may already starting to burn. These instances may be funny but they are all true and all of them are caused by the TV programs. And due to those TV programs, people can’t decide which is real and which is merely directed anymore. Though what’s in the news is already a real drama like a hostage-taking, people seem to enjoy watching the thrill and do not sympathize with the powerless victims. Media also often exaggerates the incidents and manipulates the information just to retain their reliability or to have sizzling news, no matter how wrong it was so long as it was not them (very selfish indeed!).Even one tries to deny it but those are the real colors of media that made people go dumb, shallow, irresponsible and most of all, violent.

Fahrenheit 451, though not that clear for others for its metaphors and similes, somewhat shows the troublesome effects of TV programs and media if left unprocessed which is quiet happening now, making it too real to be fictional. It also relays that the worst condition of our society may not yet the worst and we should somehow act now before it’s too late for anything. On the other hand, though the media may be important to us on delivering us the news about the currents events like about the weather conditions or the country’s economic status, we can’t entirely rely to them for the media-controlled by man-is capable of cheating and that is to give false information just to make money like exaggerating facts or adding and removing details of the news. Media also pervade privacy which is very painful for it is already a deprivation of our Human Right. And I dare say that the information from media is not reliable and the only reliable information is from the books for they reflect real life experiences and true knowledge from the people who made it. A library of books is also a library of people’s lives and the books are the instruments to that knowledge about people’s lives.

Narrative Technique

A Breakaway from the Pursuit for a Father Figure

I grew up in a quite complicated family. I was an illegitimate child with an another illegitimate sister. We grew up without a father and considering that we call our mother and our relatives - grandpas, grandmas, uncles, aunts and cousins-as our family. When I was a child, it has been very hard for me to explain to my classmates and friends the complexity of our family – a family without a father; I even got myself confused about it. My mother would just say things and that and taught me what to say when people ask me about my father. That’s why since I was on grade 1 I am quite familiar with the term “illegitimate child” though superficial-a child without a father-since that answer was what my mother taught me. It doesn’t matter to me at first if I don’t have a father but there are inevitable times that I can feel that someone is lacking-someone that will play with you, teaches you how to play basketball or how to swim and someone that can be your paternal idol-a father figure. Yes, I can feel that my mother and uncles are trying to fill up that need but I can still feel the gap.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t think all my uncles as my fathers because I know and I feel that they should prioritize their own kids first. What they can do to help me is to share their extra time to me as my father or join with their kids on their activities. That’s what I feel, only a shared father’s love. But when I was a child, I had this uncle of mine who was quite close to me and we also have some resemblances on our attitudes. I feel comfortable with him and that made me to decide to look up on him as my father. I respect him like he was my father and I idolize him. He has been my father figure. I want to be like him and grow up like him. That’s why I wore the same clothing as him: polo shirt with slacks, listen the same music and even wanted to have a job like his’-a seaman.

But because of his job, he’s always not home and then the vain for finding a father figure comes in again. Time passed and it has been always like that. Time goes on and something has changed. I don’t know if it was him or maybe it was me after all who have changed. I don’t know if I’m getting matured but I’m getting used to without father, I don’t care anymore about having my father back or having a father figure and given with some consequences and news on the T.V., I even became thankful that I don’t have a father-no drunkard, no headaches for my mom, no vices and no shouting between parents inside the house, except perhaps sometimes when my uncle is home. I am not quite in vain anymore on finding a father figure and I don’t idolize my uncle anymore. I don’t look up on him as my father anymore but I still respect him as my uncle and there’s no more or less to that. I have my own goals and principles in life which are not the same as his’ that’s why we have some arguments sometimes but most of the times I just don’t say something to stay out of trouble and so that there will be no hubbub. When I was a child , was in vain on finding for a person to be my father figure because it was during my childhood that I needed him the most-to teach me how to play some sports or how to swim or how to fight back when I am bullied. However, he wasn't there in those times and as a result, I realized that having a father is superfluous. I realized that I should be contented of what I have and be very grateful to my mother who tried her best to let me(and my sister) feel that we are complete even without a father and that we can live even without him. I already have forgiven my father for what he had done but I don’t know if he can expect from me the same love and respect I have for my mother or if he even have my care or respect for him. Maybe I can call him “Pa” and that is all there is to it-only a respect for what would I call to him.

Cause and Effect

The Prayerful One

Every night before going to bed, no matter how tired or sleepy I am, I pray at least the Angel of God(though it’s already unfit for my age) and one Glory Be. I’m not a very religious person; it is just that it feels that my day wouldn’t be complete if I couldn’t pray at night. Praying soothes my life. It all started when I was a child, at an age when one can already talk though quite gibberish and can quickly imitate what other people say, my mother already taught me two prayers for children. But of the two, it was the Angel of God I quickly copied, memorized and still used up to now. It was due to my mother’s influence that I begin to know the value of prayer. For me, it is through praying that I can communicate to God and say all the things that I want to say or express myself and feelings that I hold. Other than thanking for the blessings received and asking for forgiveness, it is also through praying that I can reflect on all the things that I have done each day. Therefore, it is all thanks to my mother for teaching me how to pray and now my life is complete.

Example Essay

Connected Like a Web

In the age of information, internet is at its peak since most people today communicate through the internet. It’s undeniable that the internet is very influential, beneficial and life-changing. Even though many people said that the internet is not beneficial and dangerous just because they have pointed out some of its negative effects, it’s still apparent and indubitable that our lives wouldn’t have been much easier if it wasn’t for the birth of the internet.

One of the biggest contributions of the internet was it made possible for us to be connected to other people from all corners of the world. An example of this is the social networking website, Facebook, which allows us to meet new people in the cyberspace, be connected to them and befriend them. Facebook made these things possible because of their applications, which require us to add or recruit friends as many as we can. After the friend requests have been accepted, we usually didn’t notice that we’ve added a spectrum of people of different nationalities. We then became interested of those different people we’ve added and from that we try to communicate to them by leaving messages or comments. Thus, a bond is created after exchanging messages or comments. Oftentimes, the messages include asking questions about their life, job, possessions, food, weather and the like. Indeed, internet extends our reach to other people without necessarily going to their location personally and expands our knowledge about other people’s culture, tradition and life.

Other than giving us connection to other people, internet also allows us to stay connected and updated with our loved ones’ current condition who are working abroad. Before, letter sending through mail takes weeks or even months before the recipient can receive the mail. This lengthy delay of delivering the mail made us worried sick of our loved ones’ condition. But now, we can instantly communicate to them through online chatting, e-mailing and social networking. We can now even see them through online cam to cam chatting or video-calling. As a result, instead of being worried sick, we are now unperturbed and updated of loved ones’ current condition or situation. And with all due respect, this is all thanks to the internet.

Therefore, despite of pessimistic notions of some people on internet, it is still unquestionable that internet is very advantageous to us and its advantageousness was too great that it overlaps its disadvantages. Internet is beneficial for it connects people. Internet is like a web that connects all people from all corners of the world.